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I began writing a whole "Gill the Great" chapter... but I think I need to cut to the chase a little quicker.

PHUCK Ball State.  Phuck them, phuck their cardinals and their hilarious day dreams of BCS bowls.  Let's make them earn their school's name and drop two huge Beeffalo balls down their beaks on Friday.  Who's with me?

Or in other words...

Lord Gill sits in his chariot, proudly surveying all that he had accomplished.  After three months of fighting, sweat and blood, Gill has 7 heads tied to his reigns.  The heads were once the prized possession of those who were foolish enough to raise armies against the will of Gill.  Those unfortunate seven who did not heed the warnings of Gill's prophets, The Order of Ubfan.com.  The UBrothers travelled the cursed lands of the MAC and foretold of Gill's coming.  They pleaded with the enemies of Mighty UB to surrender, to let the will of Gill be, for it cannot be denied.  They were treated with distain and with LOLz and LAWLZ when they preached for what the UBrothers said frightened and confused the barbarians, NOOBs and kittens.  These vile beasts had feasted on UB's lands for years like a cancer.  Like a festering boil they were ripe for the lancing. 

The sacred UBrothers spoke of Gill's Truth.  The enemies of UB did not listen. 

Gill came upon them and pwnage ruled the day.  He dispatched them one by one with a hearty laugh and a LOLCATZ all his own.  Their presence had sullied the sacred halls of the MAC, the rightful domain of Beeffalo, and he delighted in their slaughter.  Gill could be heard from atop Mount Amherst proclaiming the glory of his victories.  His words "THAT'S WHAT TIME IT IS BABY!!! OUR TIME!!! WOOT!!!" shook the very pillars of the MAC.  Tyranny and pwnage, which had ruled Beeffalonia in the years before Gill, were no more.  Before Gill's armies, the mighty and mysterious Beeffaloes, bathed in the blood of his enemies, all of those who carried the UB banner lived a life of sadness and lament.  Gill's victories delivered them from a life of fear and anguish.  They rejoiced and sung war songs in his name.  Some did ancient rituals of "Haha, I phucking told you" upon the burial grounds of conquered tribes, the now dispatched enemies of Blessed UB.  While they celebrated, Gill could only focus his gaze on the Western boarder of Beeffalonia.

Now, amidst the songs and the merrymaking, Gill stands alone surveying the battle yet to come.  Despite his many victories, despite achieving what no one else before him could ever hope to do, Gill wears only a hint of smile.  He is troubled for his work is undone.  There is a foul stench in his lands.  A stench that reeks of arrogance and hubris and pine nuts and berries.  This putrid smell wafts cavalierly into his lands, seeping in from the West.  A roving band of birds know as "Those who like Balls" threatens on the edge of Beeffalo domain.  They have swarmed over the West and left it a barren wasteland.  Drunk on rotting berries, these puss-filed carrion-eating pests have come to the lands of UB confident and obnoxious, expecting yet another buffet.

The smile leaves Gill's face.  “They’ll find nothing but the blade of my Axe,” he says quietly.  He grinds his teeth as he lifts his battle axe to his shoulder.  The mighty weapon is stained with the blood of idiots and trolls and doubters of UB's greatness.  He steels himself for a battle yet to come, a battle he knows he must win.  For Good and Just are threatened once again and the armies of UB must fight to save them once again.  UB must prevail. 

I wonder if cardinal tastes like chicken?

What do you do for a living? Your a talented writer, very imaginative.

Have u seen there annoying "Chirp, Chirp" crap they always wrote on the ESPN2 telecasts, that was by far the stupidest most annoying thing i have seen on the Fan Interactive talk.  Do they chant by chirping like a cardinal? Isn't that just special.  Give your team a Real Football Name, im about as scared of a cardinal as i am of a bunny.  Go eat your birdseed and go away.

And watch out for the Horns, GO BULLS!!!!

NICE!!!

Ya know, I got so caught up in Thanksgiving, and the monthly grid of the numbers of my bills totaling more than the numbers on my paychecks I almost forgot about this game.

I have since shunned these fiscal and family responsibilities...My head back where it belongs...Preaching the word of Gill and being an outstanding member of the UBrotherhood!!!!

UBrother Jenks...reporting for duty!!

LETS GO UB!!!

Have u seen there annoying "Chirp, Chirp" crap they always wrote on the ESPN2 telecasts, that was by far the stupidest most annoying thing i have seen on the Fan Interactive talk.  Do they chant by chirping like a cardinal? Isn't that just special.  Give your team a Real Football Name, im about as scared of a cardinal as i am of a bunny.  Go eat your birdseed and go away.

And watch out for the Horns, GO BULLS!!!!

That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard. 

I have just written the weirdest piece ever.  I typically write in Word then copy it over.  I think I might keep this one.  It deals with how Ball State got its name and it might be the most disturbing thing I've ever typed.  I'm conflicted about posting it. 

I need some direction.

Its championship week.  Post it.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the five brothers named Ball bying the normal school in Muncie and turning it into Ball State.

Its championship week.  Post it.

I feel like this is almost like the scene from half baked when they're high and they just start making up crap about how their dog died. 

You asked for it. (the unabridged post)

Have u seen there annoying "Chirp, Chirp" crap they always wrote on the ESPN2 telecasts, that was by far the stupidest most annoying thing i have seen on the Fan Interactive talk.  Do they chant by chirping like a cardinal? Isn't that just special.  Give your team a Real Football Name, im about as scared of a cardinal as i am of a bunny.  Go eat your birdseed and go away.

And watch out for the Horns, GO BULLS!!!!

That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard. 

How in the hell did they get their name?  I guess I could Wiki it... but... I'd prefer to just make up a story and say it's true -

Near the turn of the century the Ball Brothers bought a glorified rat motel (the kind where the rats only rent the rooms for a half-hour at a time... most just used the hallways) and decided to try and dupe people into thinking it was a college.  This worked amazingly well in Muncie, Indiana, a town made famous for being referenced as a crappy small town in hyperbole and sarcastic jokes (e.g. - This town is a sh1thole... very Munciesque.  This place sucks so much balls... it reminds me of Muncie.  I just saw a sign for Muncie, I'm pretty sure we're phucking lost dipsh1t.)

The barn "school" pretended to teach hundreds upon thousands of Indiana yokels who went on to make Indiana the most racist, redneck state in the Union by 1950 (this is a fact, the state legislature of Indiana has had very close ties with the KKK for the better part of the 20th century).  No one outside the state seemed to care or mind. 

The more interesting story deals with the Ball family after whom the school is named.  The Ball family's real surname is actually Shuester.  The Shuester Family emigrated from a small Bavarian province in what is now unified Germany.  Illegally entering the U.S. in 1802, the Shuester’s had to flee their homeland after an infamous incident involving a sheep, an egg beater and Karl W. Shuester.  Karl was caught by local authorities molesting the town's prized sheep with an implement later to be discovered to be an egg beater.  The penalty for the crime at the time was banishment and familial half-castration.  Karl, now half the man he once was, moved his family to America to start anew.  He searched for a place that would accept his uni-testicle family and his bestial love of farm animals.  The Shuester’s eventual settled in Muncie, Indiana which had a surprisingly high amount of uni-testicle children due to decades upon decades of inbreeding.  Karl’s son Hanz made a small fortune selling specialized undergarments for the one-balled man of the late 1800’s.  The business created enough money for the Shuester family to fund their true passion, a live Germany-style burlesque/pornography show.  The show began with simple acts involving typical Muncie traditions involving sheep and pigs but eventually devolved into debauchery that would make 2-girls-1-cup look like a Teletubies episode.  The show became famous state-wide under Hanz’s son Dieter and flourished under the direction of Dieter’s sons George, Lucious, Frank, Edmund and William.  The five sons, who would commonly appear in their own productions together (not at all uncommon in Muncie), were all born uni-testicled.  Some have surmised that it was God’s cruel joke to brand the family forever for their great-grandfather’s past sins.  Many more knew that Dieter’s wife, Helga, was a slut of epic proportions, who most likely slept with everyone in Muncie, sometimes 10-15 at a time, all of whom carried the genetic defect of uni-testegation, more commonly known today as “Muncieitis”.  One (or more) of these many partners undoubted fathered George, Lucious, Frank, Edmund and William.  The brothers’ condition, which was so unabashedly flaunted in front of sold-out crowds of Muncie retards, quickly earned them the nickname “The Ball Brothers.”  The brothers legally changed their surnames from Shuester to Ball in 1913.

The rest, as they say, is history.  The farmhouse they passed off as a university now dupes 18,000 un-testicled Indianans into thinking their getting a legitimate degree from Ball State University each year.

Its championship week.  Post it.

I feel like this is almost like the scene from half baked when they're high and they just start making up crap about how their dog died. 

You asked for it. (the unabridged post)

Have u seen there annoying "Chirp, Chirp" crap they always wrote on the ESPN2 telecasts, that was by far the stupidest most annoying thing i have seen on the Fan Interactive talk.  Do they chant by chirping like a cardinal? Isn't that just special.  Give your team a Real Football Name, im about as scared of a cardinal as i am of a bunny.  Go eat your birdseed and go away.

And watch out for the Horns, GO BULLS!!!!

That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard. 

How in the hell did they get their name?  I guess I could Wiki it... but... I'd prefer to just make up a story and say it's true -

Near the turn of the century the Ball Brothers bought a glorified rat motel (the kind where the rats only rent the rooms for a half-hour at a time... most just used the hallways) and decided to try and dupe people into thinking it was a college.  This worked amazingly well in Muncie, Indiana, a town made famous for being referenced as a crappy small town in hyperbole and sarcastic jokes (e.g. - This town is a sh1thole... very Munciesque.  This place sucks so much balls... it reminds me of Muncie.  I just saw a sign for Muncie, I'm pretty sure we're phucking lost dipsh1t.)

The barn "school" pretended to teach hundreds upon thousands of Indiana yokels who went on to make Indiana the most racist, redneck state in the Union by 1950 (this is a fact, the state legislature of Indiana has had very close ties with the KKK for the better part of the 20th century).  No one outside the state seemed to care or mind. 

The more interesting story deals with the Ball family after whom the school is named.  The Ball family's real surname is actually Shuester.  The Shuester Family emigrated from a small Bavarian province in what is now unified Germany.  Illegally entering the U.S. in 1802, the Shuester’s had to flee their homeland after an infamous incident involving a sheep, an egg beater and Karl W. Shuester.  Karl was caught by local authorities molesting the town's prized sheep with an implement later to be discovered to be an egg beater.  The penalty for the crime at the time was banishment and familial half-castration.  Karl, now half the man he once was, moved his family to America to start anew.  He searched for a place that would accept his uni-testicle family and his bestial love of farm animals.  The Shuester’s eventual settled in Muncie, Indiana which had a surprisingly high amount of uni-testicle children due to decades upon decades of inbreeding.  Karl’s son Hanz made a small fortune selling specialized undergarments for the one-balled man of the late 1800’s.  The business created enough money for the Shuester family to fund their true passion, a live Germany-style burlesque/pornography show.  The show began with simple acts involving typical Muncie traditions involving sheep and pigs but eventually devolved into debauchery that would make 2-girls-1-cup look like a Teletubies episode.  The show became famous state-wide under Hanz’s son Dieter and flourished under the direction of Dieter’s sons George, Lucious, Frank, Edmund and William.  The five sons, who would commonly appear in their own productions together (not at all uncommon in Muncie), were all born uni-testicled.  Some have surmised that it was God’s cruel joke to brand the family forever for their great-grandfather’s past sins.  Many more knew that Dieter’s wife, Helga, was a slut of epic proportions, who most likely slept with everyone in Muncie, sometimes 10-15 at a time, all of whom carried the genetic defect of uni-testegation, more commonly known today as “Muncieitis”.  One (or more) of these many partners undoubted fathered George, Lucious, Frank, Edmund and William.  The brothers’ condition, which was so unabashedly flaunted in front of sold-out crowds of Muncie retards, quickly earned them the nickname “The Ball Brothers.”  The brothers legally changed their surnames from Shuester to Ball in 1913.

The rest, as they say, is history.  The farmhouse they passed off as a university now dupes 18,000 un-testicled Indianans into thinking their getting a legitimate degree from Ball State University each year.

I'm at a loss for words...........

Awfully big talk for a team that just lost to Kent Freaking State.

Can't wait to see the melt down on this board Friday night.

Awfully big talk for a team that just lost to Kent Freaking State.

Can't wait to see the melt down on this board Friday night.

Yeah well... our school wasn't founded by turn of the century pornographers. 

Awfully big talk for a team that just lost to Kent Freaking State.

Can't wait to see the melt down on this board Friday night.

I know I agree with you.  Just like the talk of an undefeated Boise State team playing an undefeated Ball State team in a bowl game.

Awfully big talk for a team that just lost to Kent Freaking State.

Can't wait to see the melt down on this board Friday night.

Yeah well... our school wasn't founded by turn of the century pornographers. 

You got something against turn-of-the-century pornographers?

Awfully big talk for a team that just lost to Kent Freaking State.

Can't wait to see the melt down on this board Friday night.

I hope this is Ball State's mentality going into the game...thinking of us as the team that lost to Kent State rather than the team that won the MAC East. They'll be in for quite a surprise in that case.

And Hokie...that was AWESOME. Maybe you should post that on Ball State's wikipedia entry, their fans don't seem to have an issue with it. Must be true after all!